Thursday, 8 August 2013

You know you're a Mum when...

Lately I seemed to be having a number of those moments where you catch yourself doing something and think...What the hell has happened to me?
Below are a few of those moments. Maybe you can relate?
You know you're a Mum when...
  • You make yourself lunch and cut your sandwich into four squares
  • You drive for 20 minutes in the car by yourself before you realise you don't have to listen to the Wiggles CD
  • You feel strange and uncomfortable being at the shops and not pushing something around
  • The highlight of your day is watching 'Peppa Pig' and 'Shaun the Sheep' but dread hearing the start of the 'Ha Ha Hairies'
  • You have trained yourself to be able to go to the toilet with an audience
  • You catch yourself saying "I'm going to count to three..." without knowing what you will do when you get to three
  • You regularly answer the door at midday in you PJ's (sorry Woolworths delivery guy)
  • Getting dressed to leave the house entails either putting on your 'best' tracksuit (i.e. without spit up or snot stains) or wearing your most expensive outfit (you never know when you might get a chance to wear it again!)
  • You struggle to put a sentence together in English (see what I mean?)
  • Having 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep is considered an awesome night's sleep
  • You catch yourself reading your grocery list out loud at the supermarket even when you are alone
  • You actually start enjoying singing along to nursery rhymes
  • You take bribes with you to the park in anticipation of a tantrum when trying to get the kids off the swings
  • Your feel like an overachiever when you manage to clean out the junk drawer
  • It feels like EVERYONE has seen your boobs, but you are past caring
  • You have a new appreciation for your Mum
  • You have a fever, a cough like a smoker, your eyes are hanging out but you still manage to sing a song whilst changing nappies and make four different lunches for your fussy toddler
  • When you are sick and someone asks how you are, you say "Good", assuming they are asking about the kids (as your well-being doesn't count anymore)
  • When you are out in public and you see another Mum with a screaming child, you give them a sympathetic smile (unlike pre-kids where you would roll your eyes and wonder why they would bring these undisciplined children out in public)
  • On the rare occasion where the stars align and you manage to get the kids to have a nap at the same time you feel like all your Christmas' have come at once
  • When the above does happen you spend half your time trying to decide whether you should clean the floors, hang out washing, cook dinner or just lie down. You then kick yourself when the kids wake and you haven't done any of these things.
Speaking of which, I hear yelling from the bedrooms.

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