Monday, 6 January 2014

Bring it 2014


I’m sitting on the couch coffee in hand, watching husband torturing Miss M with kisses, she responds with riotous uncontrolled laughter. Master Q is sitting on his knees, a huge grin on his face as he watches the spectacle in front of him. Moments that you just wish you could bottle. This is a pretty good start to 2014.
my butterfly-tigress

2013 was, well, let’s just say ‘challenging’. In January 2013 I had an 18 month old and 4 month old. The next six months were tough. Upon the impending arrival of your first child people are constantly bombarding you with advice like: “You better sleep now there will be no sleep after the baby arrives”, “Nothing can prepare you for how your life changes when you have a baby”, “Your life will never be the same again” and “There will be no such thing as time to yourself”. And although all these things are true, there were none of these ‘pearls of wisdom’ or words of warning on just how difficult it would be with two. I do like to console myself with the fact that since Miss M and Master Q were so close together it was ostensibly like having two babies but this doesn’t change the fact that it was down.right.hard.
During the last year I have been plagued with moments of self-doubt, asking myself “Am I cut out to be a Mum?”, “Is this ever going to get any easier?”, “Will these illnesses ever end?”, “When will I start enjoying this?” and at times this kind of fatalistic thinking did get the better of me. But I consoled myself with one fact that I have learnt by sharing these concerns with other Mums over the last two and a half years; No one finds it easy. When you think about it why should it be? Nothing that is worth anything comes easy.
 
With 2014 still emitting that wonderful new car smell I can tell any of you out there who are reading this whilst breastfeeding a baby in one arm and haranguing a toddler with the other, IT DOES GET EASIER. (Or do we just get better at it?) Either way take it from me you will eventually get more sleep, the constant battering of viruses will get fewer and far between, the bubbas will get a little more self-sufficient and you will start to feel like a human-being again.
my two little humans
 
I certainly don’t feel like I am a pro at this child-raising gig but deep down I know that I am doing a good job. That just questioning myself means that I want to be the best Mum I can. I should be proud of myself for getting through 2013 with my sanity still intact and that as long as I am constantly learning from my mistakes and striving to be a better parent I am doing the right thing.
my boys
Yesterday whilst holding Master Q after his bath I looked at the two of us in the mirror and still could not believe that he was mine, that I am not just a Mum to one little being but two! Husband must have sensed what I was thinking and asked “Could you have pictured yourself as a Mum”, the answer really is “No”. I could not have imagined how relentless, stressful, overwhelming, frustrating and tiring it would be. But I also could not in my wildest dreams have imagined how wonderful, heart-melting, gratitude-inducing and life-changing it would be. Clich├ęs and cornball lines aside, You are never the same person again once you have kids and I’m ok with that. I am sure 2014 will be full of more ‘challenges’ but I do feel like I have turned a corner. Bring it 2014, I’m ready.
 
What was your biggest parenting lesson of 2013?

2 comments:

  1. You said it Sister!! Thanks for this post... the Tadpole is kicking my arse this week. Happy New year :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, ha! Thanks Sam. These kids really know how to work us over don't they?!

      Delete

Thanks for your comments!