Sunday, 30 October 2016

Hello...anyone there?

My fingers are poised, hovering over the keyboard, waiting for inspiration. “Come to me awesome blog post! I command thee!” …Or maybe just a few well-formed sentences? That would suffice right now.  

I know I haven't been around my blog in ages, what can I say? For the last year (or more) any creative urges that may have attempted to come forth have been forced down by the weight of responsibility. Two kids, part time job, family matters and a house renovation. (Did I mention we have been renovating a 1960’s fixer upper? More on this later). There was just no headspace left, or will, to be honest, for anything creative. I loved writing my blog, not for any other reason than I just liked doing it. It’s hard with all the competing priorities we have to even allow ourselves the luxury of doing something 'just because'.

We (especially Mums) have too much guilt most of the time to do things just for ourselves, with a constant list of things we ‘should’ be doing drowning out our need to Just.Be.Me. That’s sad I think (but am completely guilty of doing this), for we are better, calmer, happier people if we allow ourselves (and our partners) the space to just be.

So here I am apprehensively peaking my head around the corner of the last year, hoping that there will be calmer weather ahead. In the last few weeks husband and I have picked ourselves up and have starting taking baby steps towards being happier. He has started writing again (check out his Facebook page on his latest Zombie novella!), we have started looking after ourselves and most importantly being nicer to each other.

In light of this, I am sitting here kid-free, chores done and allowing myself (guilt free) to do something I like, just because. I’ve never been good at being creative on demand. I have to write or create when the mood strikes me and most of the time for me that is late at night which is not ideal when you are tired and have to be able to function the next day. But after reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic a while ago, I realised sometimes you have to just do it. There is no right time or window which is going to open up just at the time when your creative juices are flowing so instead here I am writing…something. (Husband just texted me saying “A bad blog post is better than no blog post”). 

So excuse the jumbled mess that is this blog post, my first in a long time. But I am exercising my writing skills and just like exercising my body at the moment, it’s a bit uncoordinated, messy and at times there are bits wobbling around that shouldn’t. It’s all for a good cause, my happiness. Go on, have a go, it will do a world of good to let go of guilt and just be yourself for a bit.